A to Z of Nonsense

Arbitrary avenues, bellicose bends

Cantilevered caverns, dangerous dens

Every single episode could easily expose

Fancy if you will and gather all the goes

Hurry to the harbour, investigate the Ids

Jump every jerrycan kissing all the kids

Leap over lanterns, many then some more

Nicking all the neaps and offering an oar

Picking up some peppers, quacking in a queue

Running rings around us stirring up the stew

Taking turns to tamper, urging we undock

Voting for the vampires and cooking with a wok

Exiting excitingly yawning yet again

Zeds and zoos and zany clues adds zest we can’t explain

How Dare You?

I was recently honoured to be featured, for the second time, on Sammi Cox’s Whispers and Echoes, an online journal of short writing where Sammi invites bloggers to submit Flash fiction and poems. It is just one of Sammi’s various offerings and the more you look the more you will be delighted by her work. Please do follow the links below and explore the world of Sammi Cox, and those that she features. You are bound to find something you love.

https://whispersandechoesmag.home.blog

How Dare You? | Peter Matthews

Posted on December 7, 2020 by sammicoxwriter

I wrote this as a social commentary on the modern phenomenon of X feeling that their opinion is the only one that matters. It seems that no-one has the right to disagree, debate, discuss, or do anything other than accept that X is right and has the absolute right to have everyone else accept that opinion. You can choose your own X!

HOW DARE YOU?

I really am very offended

that you will not think as I do

My opinion’s the one that should matter

why should anyone listen to you

All that you say is just rubbish

it’s plain you are just a buffoon

If the men in white coats do not know yet

be assured that they will very soon

I’m reporting you now to the agents

who police all these matters of state

I’m sure they’ll agree with the things that I say

that your mind is just twisted with hate

And if I can’t prove that you’re evil

I’ll just make up stories that tell

you are obviously wrong in all that you think

and you’ll surely be going to hell

I’ll laugh as they take you to prison

and make sure your family go too

You will ne’er again make that silly mistake

of not thinking the way that I do!

Rapid rhyme #31

Owen, Beleaguered Servant, with No Talent For Certainty is a poet whose prodigious output simply amazes me.    His post, yesterday,  I’m Really Glad You’re Happy inspired me to write the following Rapid rhyme.  Do check out his poetry.  I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

A Rapid rhyme is one that comes to mind straight away and is not edited or amended. By their very nature they can be rough at the edges, a little unfinished, but I like them!

Incidentally, trE, of A Cornered Gurl, has taken a liking to my idea and has started to produce her own Rapid rhymes, going one better by adding an audio file to them (I’m not ready to share my squeaky voice yet!). They are great, and an example can be found here.

Here is mine, inspired by Owen.

I’m really glad you’re really glad that I am glad you’re happy

I’ll help you now in helping me to help you change your nappy*

I think you think I think you’re cute but I think you are cuter

Especially now that you have let me see your great big hooter**

I like the fact you like the fact that I like facts of fiction

I say that you will say I do and I will say good diction

I’ll state the state that you are in is really rather snappy

I’m really glad you’re really glad that I am glad you’re happy

*Nappy = Diaper

**hooter = Nose

Rapid rhyme #30

None of us are poets, it’s very plain to see

we write some words and if they rhyme then it was meant to be

but there again if words don’t rhyme it doesn’t mean it’s prose

It may be verse, or something worse, a finger up your nose

 

None of us are poets, it’s why I wrote these words

to prove to you it’s very true that cows are seen in herds

A bull will come along to serve, that is his given task

He’s making love to cows all day and doesn’t have to ask

 

None of us are poets, I think I’ve proved that fact

but have a go, it’s fun to do, just sign the poet’s pact

Stand on your head, write with your toes, and sing a happy ditty

For those of you who think they know the rhyming word is kitty

Apology to a spider – second leg – Rapid rhyme #29

I’m sorry Mrs Spider that I destroyed your home

I merely wished to walk your way whilst on my morning roam

I hope you soon restore the mess that I so rudely made

Please send the bill to me at once, it will be swiftly paid!

 

I went the same way once again to see if she was there

I found a cup and saucer smashed and half a broken chair

Her neighbour said she’d moved away, we talked of this and that

I understand that she has moved into a brand new flat

Police image of the perpetrator at the scene of the crime

First leg is here.

Sunday sayings #33

I happened across this from two years ago and thought it was appropriate to reblog during this very strange lockdown time. May you all have ‘NICE THUNKS’

Peter's pondering

positiveNice thunks

Think a thunk of niceness

smile and have a laugh

take a nice long shower

or soak and have a bath

eat your favourite chocolate

drink your favourite tipple

treat yourself to cream cake

or double raspberry ripple

whatever takes your fancy

take it to extreme

and share it with your favourite mate

if only in a dream.

View original post

The fly.

A fly came in and flew around, he buzzed this way and that.

It caused near apoplexy for my parrot and my cat.

My parrot said, “now bugger off”, my cat spoke not at all,

She was too busy flying round and bouncing off the wall.

 

My parrot said “I did not know that you could really fly.”

The fly, misunderstanding, said, “it’s just how I get by!”

The cat, meanwhile, was leaping up and down across the room.

The fly was sure to get caught soon and then would meet its doom.

 

I thought that I could help things out, and maybe swat the fly.

The parrot squawked, and grabbed the cat, and said “here let me try.”

The fur was flying all around, the cushions were all scattered;

The dogs walked in and chased  the bird, and fly, and cat, all tattered.

 

Now, dogs, and cat, and bird, and fly, were chasing round and round.

It made me oh so giddy that I fell down to the ground.

I tumbled round and round and round, and slowly I arose,

when very much, to my surprise, the fly flew up my nose!

 

Very soon the cat arrived, determined to give chase.

She tried her best to catch the fly but merely scratched my face.

The cat was closely followed by the dogs, and then the bird;

The situation really was becoming most absurd!

 

The outcome of this saga was determined by my wife.

She smacked me on the nose, and thus she ended all the strife.

The fly was done, it was no more, all thanks to our dear mummy;

I sniffed, and swallowed; down it went, it ended in my tummy!