Rapid rhyme #18

My cousin Kevin worked at Kew

he kept the kale well clipped

He couldn’t cut too closely though

in case his clippers slipped

 

He used a cutlass on the grass

as sharp as sharp could be

A fact that he regretted much

as he sliced right through his knee

 

Regardless, Kevin hopped around

but fell and banged his head

He rolled across the grass and then

he rolled into the bed

 

Alas poor Kevin is no more

succumbed to cuts too many

And if you want another verse

Well tough, there are not any!

Rapid Rhyme #17

I’m sure I’m never certain

I’m certain I’m unsure

and when I think about it

I have to think some more

I nearly made my mind up

I’ll have to think again

But really I am certain

It’s just I don’t know when!

 

Inspired by this marvellous thought from Colleen.

Rapid rhyme #16

Sometimes, just sometimes, I forget that I am a compassionate and caring gentleman. This afternoon was just such an occasion.

 

Would it be awful if I were to say

I cannot be bothered to see you today

I really don’t care that your leg has dropped off

And couldn’t care less you’ve developed a cough

You breed just like rabbits, producing more louts

Your lifestyle’s renowned by all hereabouts

You’re on your seventh partner in only four years

I can only surmise it’ll all end in tears

Please don’t come to me to try to explain

I really don’t wish to hear you complain

It’s hardly surprising the neighbours all glare

Please don’t come to me, I really don’t care!

 

Rapid rhyme #12

MOZZIES

These mozzies won’t listen to reason

when told that they’re not welcome here

With all of this new global warming

it’s tropical diseases I fear!

 

It used to be just the odd nibble

a swelling that itched or was sore

but with all of this new global warming

there’s hillocks and mountains and more

 

I’ve been eaten alive by the beasties

they sneak everywhere on my skin

They pause, then they bite, then they suckle

and I didn’t say they could come in

 

With all of this new global warming

I fear I’m condemned to succumb

Well, would you believe what just happened

I’ve been bitten all over my bum!

 

I may have to voluntarily admit myself to some sort of clinic!

On checking the number of the previous Rapid rhyme, in order to number this one, I find that #11 also featured the word “bum”. Not only that, but Lundi limerick #48, and #49 also had bums in them!

Do I need help, or is this just a feature of getting older?