Lundi limerick #57

There was a young lady from Ealing

who hung upside down from the ceiling

She dressed really random

whilst riding a tandem

singing opera with consummate feeling

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Rapid rhyme #16

Sometimes, just sometimes, I forget that I am a compassionate and caring gentleman. This afternoon was just such an occasion.

 

Would it be awful if I were to say

I cannot be bothered to see you today

I really don’t care that your leg has dropped off

And couldn’t care less you’ve developed a cough

You breed just like rabbits, producing more louts

Your lifestyle’s renowned by all hereabouts

You’re on your seventh partner in only four years

I can only surmise it’ll all end in tears

Please don’t come to me to try to explain

I really don’t wish to hear you complain

It’s hardly surprising the neighbours all glare

Please don’t come to me, I really don’t care!

 

Lundi limerick #56

The City of Derby, which is 10 miles from where I live, is pronounced DARBY.

There once was a man lived in Derby

who thought he was married to Barbie

He bought lots of things

including some rings

and wondered how much would a car be?

I shall be visiting Derby today to meet up with ex work colleagues for our regular get together where we commiserate with the only one who is still working. We will enjoy a quiet lunch together (well sometimes we are quiet!), try to put the world to rights, and discuss our various ailments and aches. It will also give me a chance to go to see The Knife Angel.

Lundi limerick #53

There was a young lady from Ayr

who wore brussels sprouts in her hair

Her hat was a cabbage

which made her look savage

and my how the townsfolk did stare!

 

From a huge poll of what to do next, after A to Z, and back, of animals and insects, I held a competition. The winner got to choose my subject matter for the next year.

Actually, that’s a bit of a lie! I just decided to use Village and Town names in the UK. X and Z may prove to be a problem, but what the hell!

Lundi limerick #52

 

Aardvarks have very poor sight

and eat many termites each night

50,000 they say

then they sleep through the day

after washing them down with a Sprite.

 

(they don’t really drink Sprite, but the 50,000 is accurate!)

Well, I’ve gone from A to Z and back again with animal, birds, and insect limericks. What to do next week? Answers please on the back of a £50 note!