Learning Latin lament

This self generated on my morning walk, although, if I’m honest, it is far from the truth!

Learning Latin helped me tremendously in understanding language generally.


Agricola, agricolae, agricolum

As far as I’m concerned stick Latin up your bum

Quod erat demonstrandum

Just seems so very random

When declining Latin nouns by rule of thumb!

Calamitous Colin



Colin the caterpillar loved to climb trees.

He found it quite hard ‘cause he didn’t have knees.

He scrambled and squiggled as he went higher,

he was ever so fast, and he just didn’t tire.


He got to the top, and then what did he do?

He jumped off, and floated, but fell in the loo!

He knew how to swim, so swam round and round,

but then he got dizzy, and suddenly found

he’d started to sink, and slide, down the bowl,

and all he could see was a gaping black hole.


Along came a boy who wanted a wee

but Colin knew nothing, he just couldn’t see.

He’d slipped round the bend, and into the dark.

Just what was that noise, was it a shark?


The boy had been taught well, the loo had been flushed,

and Colin was caught in the water that gushed.

He flew from the toilet and into the drain,

his head was now pounding and hurting his brain.

He gasped, as he floated along with the poo,

it smelt really awful but what could he do?


A long way ahead he thought he espied

a bright shining light as he bobbed on the tide.

His ears full of water, and all nasty bits,

he really was nearing the end of his wits.


It seemed to get lighter the further he went,

much brighter in fact, and a much better scent!

Was he asleep and dreaming of Mummy?

Now he was getting a wobbly tummy!

More and more light, just what could it be?

Then suddenly, plop, he fell into the sea!


Thank goodness, he thought, I’m going to be saved.

He saw a boat coming and frantically waved.

The boatmen, of course, could not see his waving,

their thoughts were of home, and not of life saving.


But Colin was lucky, the tide it was rising,

although he was knackered, ‘twas hardly surprising.

His courage now showed as he struck out for shore,

just ten more strokes, and then, maybe, ten more.

At last he felt pebbles beneath all his feet

and slowly he crawled, he just wouldn’t be beat!


Not too far away he could see a tall tree.

Wow that looks fantastic, he shouted with glee!

I think I may climb it, it isn’t too high,

and with no further thought he waved goodbye!