Lundi limerick #56

The City of Derby, which is 10 miles from where I live, is pronounced DARBY.

There once was a man lived in Derby

who thought he was married to Barbie

He bought lots of things

including some rings

and wondered how much would a car be?

I shall be visiting Derby today to meet up with ex work colleagues for our regular get together where we commiserate with the only one who is still working. We will enjoy a quiet lunch together (well sometimes we are quiet!), try to put the world to rights, and discuss our various ailments and aches. It will also give me a chance to go to see The Knife Angel.

Advertisements

Lundi limerick #55

There was a young lady from Chester

who left all her acne to fester

Her face soon eroded

and then it exploded

she now works at Court as a Jester

Lundi limerick #54

There was a young lady from Brent

whose leg was incredibly bent

she walked with a crutch

but it didn’t do much

she invariably came as she went

Rapid rhyme #15 – The end?

Oh the smell, and the whiff, and the pong
as the world goes terribly wrong
it’s all just erupted
with earth much corrupted
hold your nose and join in with a song!

 

Lundi limerick #53

There was a young lady from Ayr

who wore brussels sprouts in her hair

Her hat was a cabbage

which made her look savage

and my how the townsfolk did stare!

 

From a huge poll of what to do next, after A to Z, and back, of animals and insects, I held a competition. The winner got to choose my subject matter for the next year.

Actually, that’s a bit of a lie! I just decided to use Village and Town names in the UK. X and Z may prove to be a problem, but what the hell!

Lundi limerick #52

 

Aardvarks have very poor sight

and eat many termites each night

50,000 they say

then they sleep through the day

after washing them down with a Sprite.

 

(they don’t really drink Sprite, but the 50,000 is accurate!)

Well, I’ve gone from A to Z and back again with animal, birds, and insect limericks. What to do next week? Answers please on the back of a £50 note!

Lundi limerick #51

A bat who was cute, small, and black

flew to London one night, then flew back

Halfway through the flight

she had such a fright

when encountering a flying Big Mac!

 

Lundi limerick #50

My camel is really quite small

because he has no humps at all

He can’t store lots of water

the way that he oughta

so buys his supplies at a stall

 

Guess the name of my camel?

Humphrey!

(that’s twice in 4 weeks that I’ve used oughta)

Lundi limerick #49

A dastardly dingo from Deal

did nothing but plunder and steal

His Mum with aplomb

smacked his legs and his bum

saying “think how your victims must feel!”

 

(no actual dingoes were harmed during the writing of this limerick)

Lundi limerick #48

Earwigs make marvelous Mums

have pincers on the end of their tums

with 2000 species

and real smelly faeces

it’s best to stay clear of their bums!