Lundi limerick #89

A lady called Betty from Quorn

whose hips were incredibly worn

laid blame on her dancing

and all of the prancing

encountered whilst working in porn

 

I have shamelessly copied the following from the wikipedia entry for  Quorn:

The first known evidence of the village is in the Lincoln Episcopal Registers for 1209–1235, as Quernendon. Other variations of the village name over the centuries include Querne, Quendon, Querendon, Quarendon, Qaryndon, Querinden, Querondon, and Quernedon.

The quarrying of stone in Quorn began at a very early age at Buddon Wood, on the edge of the parish. Granite millstones were quarried in the early Iron Age, and under the Romans stone was quarried for building in Leicester. Some of the larger millstones can still be seen in the area, however these days they are either used as garden ornaments, or worked into seats or slabs.

Quorn Hall, off Meynell Road on the eastern edge of the village, was built for the Farnham family in about 1680. It became the home of renowned fox hunter Hugo Meynell in 1753. He established his pack of hounds there, where it continued under later masters until 1905, thus giving a name to the famous Quorn Hunt. Three Royal Navy ships have been named HMS Quorn after the hunt.

The meat substitute Quorn derives its name from this village, and began production in 1985.

 

 

Lundi limerick #87

Rita from Richmond in Surrey

ate nothing but cabbage and curry

her stomach was loaded

it sadly exploded

she’s now just a bucket of slurry

 

The borough of Richmond was abolished in 1965 when it was replaced by the larger London Borough of Richmond upon Thames, and Surrey County Council was replaced here by Greater London local government institutions, at which time the ceremonial county also changed.

Richmond is definitely a place I could never afford to live and, in  any case, I much prefer Richmond in Yorkshire!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rapid rhyme #22

Easter Sunday, boiler’s broke

phone the gas, they send a bloke

social distance makes it hard

shout to him across the yard

 

Cat goes crazy, races round

scratches bloke then goes to ground

launches right across his head

goodness me I think he’s dead

 

Thank the Lord he’s coming round

the cat once more has gone to ground

the boiler well and truly broken

the bloke at least has now awoken!

 

No cats, or blokes, were hurt in the writing of this poem! The boiler, however, is crying – all over the once dry bedding and towels. Happy Easter everyone.

Start and Finish! No Merci! — The happy Quitter!

Bridget had a few things to finish in order to find her inner peace.

She found it!

I heard a Doctor on TV saying at this time, when we all are forced to stay at home, we should focus on inner peace. To achieve this we should always finish things we start. Now or never! Time to finish old projects and calm down by doing so.

via Start and Finish! No Merci! — The happy Quitter!