Twittering Tale #33 – 6 June 2017

It’s time again for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creative souls. Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 140 characters or fewer.

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Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution. Check out all the fabulous entries here.

She hoped to see who kept leaving food on the doorstep. I do hope there’s fewer beans this week she thought, dashing to the loo yet again!

(138 characters)

We need to talk about Diane Abbott. Now. (EXPLICIT CONTENT)

Anyone not in the UK will probably be totally bemused by this article. However, I felt that it is entirely appropriate to re blog this on the day that we are deciding who should form our government for the next 5 years.

JACK MONROE

This is not a recipe. I wrote this as a series of tweets today and readers asked for it as a blog post, so here it is. Our politics may differ, so feel free to skip straight back to the recipes if that’s what you’re here for.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT DIANE ABBOTT.

Right one of us political writer people needs to do this and it looks like it’s me. Grab a seat. I wanna talk about Diane.
Diane was first elected as an MP in 1987, the year before I was born. She has been dedicated to serving the British public for longer than I have even been alive. Hold that thought. Understand it.
Diane was the first black woman to have a seat in the House of Commons. She MADE HISTORY. Her father was welder, her mother a nurse. How many working class kids do we have…

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Quid Pro Quo

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I gave her quid
she gave pro quo
my new pet squid
she loves me so
she gives me hugs
with all her arms
with gentle tugs
she shows her charms
she loves me so
I’ve said before
she lets me know
she loves me more
she sucks my neck
she sucks my sides
but what the heck
she goes and hides
behind the chair
behind the shed
but she’s still there
I see her head
she likes to think
she’s one of us
she writes with ink
and takes the bus
there’s jealousy
from my dear wife
she fails to see
and gives me strife
she thinks I pay
too much attention
she doesn’t say
she fails to mention
she thinks I’ve gone
right off the grid
suggests a swan
instead of squid
but that would hurt
she’d get upset
if I did flirt
with another pet
I have to go
my squid awaits
she lets me know
that we’re just mates
but I know truth
I really know
my squid called Ruth
she loves me so!

Twittering Tale #32 – 30 May 2017

It’s time again for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creative souls. Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 140 characters or fewer.

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Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution. Check out all the fabulous entries here.

“Done something with your hair?” Freddie asked.
“Try again!” replied Fiona.
“New dress?” he suggested.
“Wrong. I’ve had new coloured lenses!”

(138 characters)

Tantalising Triple #1

I stood on one leg to get dressed,

my doctor was very impressed.

I fell to the floor,

but wait, there is more.

I found that I’d ruptured my vest!

 

My band has been banned from the stage,

our instruments locked in a cage.

I spoke to the policeman,

he’ll only release them

if I promise that I’ll act my age.

 

The verses above are not linked.

They came out that way as I thinked.

You, perhaps would say thought,

but I’ve always been taught

you should write as if you’d just blinked!