A to Z of Nonsense

Arbitrary avenues, bellicose bends

Cantilevered caverns, dangerous dens

Every single episode could easily expose

Fancy if you will and gather all the goes

Hurry to the harbour, investigate the Ids

Jump every jerrycan kissing all the kids

Leap over lanterns, many then some more

Nicking all the neaps and offering an oar

Picking up some peppers, quacking in a queue

Running rings around us stirring up the stew

Taking turns to tamper, urging we undock

Voting for the vampires and cooking with a wok

Exiting excitingly yawning yet again

Zeds and zoos and zany clues adds zest we can’t explain

Rapid Rhyme #36

Woe is me

My tummy’s hurting quite a lot

I may not last the night

My forehead’s getting very hot

My chest is feeling tight

I think my arm is dropping off

It really feels quite weird

And now I have a tickly cough

And spittle in my beard

I’ll p’raps survive till Monday morn

But maybe I will not

I’ll just sit here, alone, forlorn

And very slowly rot!

*I don’t really have a beard!*

Rapid rhyme #31

Owen, Beleaguered Servant, with No Talent For Certainty is a poet whose prodigious output simply amazes me.    His post, yesterday,  I’m Really Glad You’re Happy inspired me to write the following Rapid rhyme.  Do check out his poetry.  I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

A Rapid rhyme is one that comes to mind straight away and is not edited or amended. By their very nature they can be rough at the edges, a little unfinished, but I like them!

Incidentally, trE, of A Cornered Gurl, has taken a liking to my idea and has started to produce her own Rapid rhymes, going one better by adding an audio file to them (I’m not ready to share my squeaky voice yet!). They are great, and an example can be found here.

Here is mine, inspired by Owen.

I’m really glad you’re really glad that I am glad you’re happy

I’ll help you now in helping me to help you change your nappy*

I think you think I think you’re cute but I think you are cuter

Especially now that you have let me see your great big hooter**

I like the fact you like the fact that I like facts of fiction

I say that you will say I do and I will say good diction

I’ll state the state that you are in is really rather snappy

I’m really glad you’re really glad that I am glad you’re happy

*Nappy = Diaper

**hooter = Nose

Rapid rhyme #30

None of us are poets, it’s very plain to see

we write some words and if they rhyme then it was meant to be

but there again if words don’t rhyme it doesn’t mean it’s prose

It may be verse, or something worse, a finger up your nose

 

None of us are poets, it’s why I wrote these words

to prove to you it’s very true that cows are seen in herds

A bull will come along to serve, that is his given task

He’s making love to cows all day and doesn’t have to ask

 

None of us are poets, I think I’ve proved that fact

but have a go, it’s fun to do, just sign the poet’s pact

Stand on your head, write with your toes, and sing a happy ditty

For those of you who think they know the rhyming word is kitty

Apology to a spider – second leg – Rapid rhyme #29

I’m sorry Mrs Spider that I destroyed your home

I merely wished to walk your way whilst on my morning roam

I hope you soon restore the mess that I so rudely made

Please send the bill to me at once, it will be swiftly paid!

 

I went the same way once again to see if she was there

I found a cup and saucer smashed and half a broken chair

Her neighbour said she’d moved away, we talked of this and that

I understand that she has moved into a brand new flat

Police image of the perpetrator at the scene of the crime

First leg is here.

Rapid rhyme #18

My cousin Kevin worked at Kew

he kept the kale well clipped

He couldn’t cut too closely though

in case his clippers slipped

He used a cutlass on the grass

as sharp as sharp could be

A fact that he regretted much

as he sliced through his knee

Regardless, Kevin hopped around

but fell and banged his head

He rolled across the grass and then

he rolled into the bed

Alas poor Kevin is no more

succumbed to cuts too many

And if you want another verse

Well tough, there are not any!