Numbers

One is one and two is too

And so are three and four

Then comes five and six and seven

Then eight and nine and more

Our days are numbered: very few

In years three score and ten

Translated into days perhaps

you’d think a lot, but then

It is actually only twenty five thousand five hundred and sixty eight days

At approximately 8.20am today I was:

26,916 days old

645,984 hours old

38,759,040 minutes old

2,325,542,400 seconds old

Don’t waste a second!

Private – Keep Out!

I spend time inside my head

when awake or in my bed

it is not a space I share with people freely

If you peeked inside you’d know

that it has to be just so

otherwise you’d think of me a bit too queerly!

§

You are not the only one

to have pondered thereupon

and perhaps some tried returning more than once

Folk have even dared to say

that in every single way

I could easily be classed a stupid dunce

§

But do I really care

if they think I’m not all there

and consider that I have a few loose screws

I care not what they think

I’ll just have another drink

and make stories up as if I were Fox News

A Little Alliteration #3

Angry ants ate all the pears

Then attacked the big bad bears

Caught a cat who’d scratched his mate

Dined with dogs a dinner date

Eating eggs, an eagle’s yield

Foxes found in far flung field

Gargantuan goose so gay and golden

Heavenly horses from times olden

Ibex inching across savanna

Jackals jump in funny manner

Kangaroos just kicking sides

Lions lounging in their prides

Manatees just mooching round

Numbats very rarely found

Ostriches with open beaks

Pigs who’ve eaten all the leeks

Quokkas smiling all the time

Rats ate mats because they rhyme

Sealions slithered on the shore

Tigers tired so slept some more

Unicorns said “we exist”

Vultures add them to their list

Whopping whales ate whelks galore

X ray fish bought from the store

Yaks yelled out at those who mattered

Zebras zonked completely shattered!



Earlier episodes of attempted alliteration can be found by clicking on the links below:

First

Second

Third

Sticks and Stones

There can be beauty in broken, tender in hurt

When harsh words are spoken they’re mostly inert

It’s not always plain what people are saying

They may be in earnest or merely just playing

§

The trouble is people don’t think ere they speak

They utter such tripe and jump in with both feet

They consider no feelings, don’t choose their words well

It seems they are thinking we can all go to hell 

§

Interpret what’s said in the way that suits you

No need to worry if you don’t have a clue

It’s true what they say about sticks and the stones

No-one’s harsh words will ever break bones!

None of us are poets – Spoken Word

A couple of readers have encouraged me to do more Spoken Word Poems. An easy start is to record some of those I’ve already written. Here is Rapid rhyme #30 repeated in glorious surround sound. I hope you enjoy it.  

In case you can’t bear to listen to my voice I have included the words at the bottom.

None of us are poets, it’s very plain to see

we write some words and if they rhyme then it was meant to be

but there again if words don’t rhyme it doesn’t mean it’s prose

It may be verse, or something worse, a finger up your nose

*

None of us are poets, it’s why I wrote these words

to prove to you it’s very true that cows are seen in herds

A bull will come along to serve, that is his given task

He’s making love to cows all day and doesn’t have to ask

*

None of us are poets, I think I’ve proved that fact

but have a go, it’s fun to do, just sign the poet’s pact

Stand on your head, write with your toes, and sing a happy ditty

For those of you who think you know the rhyming word is kitty

A to Z of Nonsense

Arbitrary avenues, bellicose bends

Cantilevered caverns, dangerous dens

Every single episode could easily expose

Fancy if you will and gather all the goes

Hurry to the harbour, investigate the Ids

Jump every jerrycan kissing all the kids

Leap over lanterns, many then some more

Nicking all the neaps and offering an oar

Picking up some peppers, quacking in a queue

Running rings around us stirring up the stew

Taking turns to tamper, urging we undock

Voting for the vampires and cooking with a wok

Exiting excitingly yawning yet again

Zeds and zoos and zany clues adds zest we can’t explain

Rapid Rhyme #36

Woe is me

My tummy’s hurting quite a lot

I may not last the night

My forehead’s getting very hot

My chest is feeling tight

I think my arm is dropping off

It really feels quite weird

And now I have a tickly cough

And spittle in my beard

I’ll p’raps survive till Monday morn

But maybe I will not

I’ll just sit here, alone, forlorn

And very slowly rot!

*I don’t really have a beard!*

Rapid rhyme #31

Owen, Beleaguered Servant, with No Talent For Certainty is a poet whose prodigious output simply amazes me.    His post, yesterday,  I’m Really Glad You’re Happy inspired me to write the following Rapid rhyme.  Do check out his poetry.  I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

A Rapid rhyme is one that comes to mind straight away and is not edited or amended. By their very nature they can be rough at the edges, a little unfinished, but I like them!

Incidentally, trE, of A Cornered Gurl, has taken a liking to my idea and has started to produce her own Rapid rhymes, going one better by adding an audio file to them (I’m not ready to share my squeaky voice yet!). They are great, and an example can be found here.

Here is mine, inspired by Owen.

I’m really glad you’re really glad that I am glad you’re happy

I’ll help you now in helping me to help you change your nappy*

I think you think I think you’re cute but I think you are cuter

Especially now that you have let me see your great big hooter**

I like the fact you like the fact that I like facts of fiction

I say that you will say I do and I will say good diction

I’ll state the state that you are in is really rather snappy

I’m really glad you’re really glad that I am glad you’re happy

*Nappy = Diaper

**hooter = Nose

Rapid rhyme #30

None of us are poets, it’s very plain to see

we write some words and if they rhyme then it was meant to be

but there again if words don’t rhyme it doesn’t mean it’s prose

It may be verse, or something worse, a finger up your nose

 

None of us are poets, it’s why I wrote these words

to prove to you it’s very true that cows are seen in herds

A bull will come along to serve, that is his given task

He’s making love to cows all day and doesn’t have to ask

 

None of us are poets, I think I’ve proved that fact

but have a go, it’s fun to do, just sign the poet’s pact

Stand on your head, write with your toes, and sing a happy ditty

For those of you who think they know the rhyming word is kitty

Apology to a spider – second leg – Rapid rhyme #29

I’m sorry Mrs Spider that I destroyed your home

I merely wished to walk your way whilst on my morning roam

I hope you soon restore the mess that I so rudely made

Please send the bill to me at once, it will be swiftly paid!

 

I went the same way once again to see if she was there

I found a cup and saucer smashed and half a broken chair

Her neighbour said she’d moved away, we talked of this and that

I understand that she has moved into a brand new flat

Police image of the perpetrator at the scene of the crime

First leg is here.