I stood on one leg to get dressed,
my doctor was very impressed.
I fell to the floor,
but wait, there is more.
I found that I’d ruptured my vest!
My band has been banned from the stage,
our instruments locked in a cage.
I spoke to the policeman,
he’ll only release them
if I promise that I’ll act my age.
The verses above are not linked.
They came out that way as I thinked.
You, perhaps would say thought,
but I’ve always been taught
you should write as if you’d just blinked!
Seagulls are fine when they’re bobbing
up and down whilst floating on the sea
How come they poop while they’re flying?
And why does it all land on me?
There’s a vast difference between WANTS and NEEDS, but sometimes the two coincide. Seems they did here!
Source: Mind over matter
Worrying things the bus driver sometimes says.
“Next stop, the crematorium.”
If she could fly, she would
and then, she found, she could;
she fully understood,
and thought it very good!
She’s now accomplished in
deep diving with a fin.
She’s into drinking gin,
and almost every sin!
I think that I’m in love.
Perhaps, without a shove
she fits me like a glove.
She’s sent from heaven above!
Married now so long,
we’re like a favourite song.
Our love is oh so strong.
Whatever could go wrong?
Alas she fell and bled,
was injured on the head.
My life is full of dread.
She flew away quite dead!
When I first joined the Army, in September 1964, I started a journal, of sorts, that I called “Special thoughts and feelings”. I would lie in bed at night and write myself into another world, well away from the stresses and strains of Army training.
I jotted down a few poems, a few thoughts, a few hopes, a few dreams.
I listed the words to “House of the rising sun”, and made a list of songs that I could play on guitar.
I rewrote the collection on Sunday 19th March 1967 and retitled it “Private poems and prose by Pete + thoughts in words in writing”. Unfortunately, at that time, I omitted some of my earlier work, thinking it unworthy of record, or not wanting to be held to account. I regret that!
The book I used for the rewrite was a hardcover indexed book issued by Her Majesty’s Stationery Office, S.O.BOOK 345.
I made the mistake of writing CONFIDENTIAL , in red, at the top and bottom of the book.
Because I was in a job that dealt with matters confidential, and higher, the next time I went through Customs I was stopped, and held for some considerable time, while the book was scrutinized in depth!
At that time I was madly in love with Susan. I had been since the age of 14 when she had moved to my nearest village, when her father became Head of a nearby Secondary School. I recall that she had previously lived in Preston, Lancashire.
A lot of content, therefore, revolved around thoughts of Susan.
I intend, over time, to share the content of this “Blog before Blogs were invented”.
I shall record the entries exactly as they were written, but may add comments viewed from a “few” years distance!
There are odd scraps of paper in the book with some complete, some incomplete, and some “what on earth is this meant to be” scribblings. There’s also a “work of art”.
There is one particular poem, titled “Or is it?” that I should have copyrighted. The first line is “Walk in the air……….” I’m sure I could have argued the case for some rights to “The Snowman” song!
Having whetted your appetite, I’m not holding myself to any timetable.
A rare shot of a Haggis in flight – especially for Burns Day.
Colin the caterpillar loved to climb trees.
He found it quite hard ‘cause he didn’t have knees.
He scrambled and squiggled as he went higher,
he was ever so fast, and he just didn’t tire.
He got to the top, and then what did he do?
He jumped off, and floated, but fell in the loo!
He knew how to swim, so swam round and round,
but then he got dizzy, and suddenly found
he’d started to sink, and slide, down the bowl,
and all he could see was a gaping black hole.
Along came a boy who wanted a wee
but Colin knew nothing, he just couldn’t see.
He’d slipped round the bend, and into the dark.
Just what was that noise, was it a shark?
The boy had been taught well, the loo had been flushed,
and Colin was caught in the water that gushed.
He flew from the toilet and into the drain,
his head was now pounding and hurting his brain.
He gasped, as he floated along with the poo,
it smelt really awful but what could he do?
A long way ahead he thought he espied
a bright shining light as he bobbed on the tide.
His ears full of water, and all nasty bits,
he really was nearing the end of his wits.
It seemed to get lighter the further he went,
much brighter in fact, and a much better scent!
Was he asleep and dreaming of Mummy?
Now he was getting a wobbly tummy!
More and more light, just what could it be?
Then suddenly, plop, he fell into the sea!
Thank goodness, he thought, I’m going to be saved.
He saw a boat coming and frantically waved.
The boatmen, of course, could not see his waving,
their thoughts were of home, and not of life saving.
But Colin was lucky, the tide it was rising,
although he was knackered, ‘twas hardly surprising.
His courage now showed as he struck out for shore,
just ten more strokes, and then, maybe, ten more.
At last he felt pebbles beneath all his feet
and slowly he crawled, he just wouldn’t be beat!
Not too far away he could see a tall tree.
Wow that looks fantastic, he shouted with glee!
I think I may climb it, it isn’t too high,
and with no further thought he waved goodbye!