Quid Pro Quo

I gave her quid
she gave pro quo
my new pet squid
she loves me so
she gives me hugs
with all her arms
with gentle tugs
she shows her charms
she loves me so
I’ve said before
she lets me know
she loves me more
she sucks my neck
she sucks my sides
but what the heck
she goes and hides
behind the chair
behind the shed
but she’s still there
I see her head
she likes to think
she’s one of us
she writes with ink
and takes the bus
there’s jealousy
from my dear wife
she fails to see
and gives me strife
she thinks I pay
too much attention
she doesn’t say
she fails to mention
she thinks I’ve gone
right off the grid
suggests a swan
instead of squid
but that would hurt
she’d get upset
if I did flirt
with another pet
I have to go
my squid awaits
she lets me know
that we’re just mates
but I know truth
I really know
my squid called Ruth
she loves me so!

Tantalising Triple #1

I stood on one leg to get dressed,

my doctor was very impressed.

I fell to the floor,

but wait, there is more.

I found that I’d ruptured my vest!


My band has been banned from the stage,

our instruments locked in a cage.

I spoke to the policeman,

he’ll only release them

if I promise that I’ll act my age.


The verses above are not linked.

They came out that way as I thinked.

You, perhaps would say thought,

but I’ve always been taught

you should write as if you’d just blinked!

Flight of fancy #1


If she could fly, she would

and then, she found, she could;

she fully understood,

and thought it very good!


She’s now accomplished in

deep diving with a fin.

She’s into drinking gin,

and almost every sin!


I think that I’m in love.

Perhaps, without a shove

she fits me like a glove.

She’s sent from heaven above!


Married now so long,

we’re like a favourite song.

Our love is oh so strong.

Whatever could go wrong?


Alas she fell and bled,

was injured on the head.

My life is full of dread.

She flew away quite dead!

My life #12 – My blog before blogs

When I first joined the Army, in September 1964, I started a journal, of sorts, that I called “Special thoughts and feelings”. I would lie in bed at night and write myself into another world, well away from the stresses and strains of Army training.

I jotted down a few poems, a few thoughts, a few hopes, a few dreams.

I listed the words to “House of the rising sun”, and made a list of songs that I could play on guitar.

unspecified-25I rewrote the collection on Sunday 19th March 1967 and retitled it “Private poems and prose by Pete + thoughts in words in writing”. Unfortunately, at that time, I omitted some of my earlier work, thinking it unworthy of record, or not wanting to be held to account. I regret that!

The book I used for the rewrite was a hardcover indexed book issued by Her Majesty’s Stationery Office, S.O.BOOK 345.

unspecified-24 I made the mistake of writing CONFIDENTIAL , in red, at the top and bottom of the book.

Because I was in a job that dealt with matters confidential, and higher, the next time I went through Customs I was stopped, and held for some considerable time, while the book was scrutinized in depth!

At that time I was madly in love with Susan. I had been since the age of 14 when she had moved to my nearest village, when her father became Head of a nearby Secondary School. I recall that she had previously lived in Preston, Lancashire.

A lot of content, therefore, revolved around thoughts of Susan.

unspecified-26 I intend, over time, to share the content of this “Blog before Blogs were invented”.

I shall record the entries exactly as they were written, but may add comments viewed from a “few” years distance!

There are odd scraps of paper in the book with some complete, some incomplete, and some “what on earth is this meant to be” scribblings. There’s also a “work of art”.

There is one particular poem, titled “Or is it?” that I should have copyrighted. The first line is “Walk in the air……….” I’m sure I could have argued the case for some rights to “The Snowman” song!

Having whetted your appetite, I’m not holding myself to any timetable.

Calamitous Colin



Colin the caterpillar loved to climb trees.

He found it quite hard ‘cause he didn’t have knees.

He scrambled and squiggled as he went higher,

he was ever so fast, and he just didn’t tire.


He got to the top, and then what did he do?

He jumped off, and floated, but fell in the loo!

He knew how to swim, so swam round and round,

but then he got dizzy, and suddenly found

he’d started to sink, and slide, down the bowl,

and all he could see was a gaping black hole.


Along came a boy who wanted a wee

but Colin knew nothing, he just couldn’t see.

He’d slipped round the bend, and into the dark.

Just what was that noise, was it a shark?


The boy had been taught well, the loo had been flushed,

and Colin was caught in the water that gushed.

He flew from the toilet and into the drain,

his head was now pounding and hurting his brain.

He gasped, as he floated along with the poo,

it smelt really awful but what could he do?


A long way ahead he thought he espied

a bright shining light as he bobbed on the tide.

His ears full of water, and all nasty bits,

he really was nearing the end of his wits.


It seemed to get lighter the further he went,

much brighter in fact, and a much better scent!

Was he asleep and dreaming of Mummy?

Now he was getting a wobbly tummy!

More and more light, just what could it be?

Then suddenly, plop, he fell into the sea!


Thank goodness, he thought, I’m going to be saved.

He saw a boat coming and frantically waved.

The boatmen, of course, could not see his waving,

their thoughts were of home, and not of life saving.


But Colin was lucky, the tide it was rising,

although he was knackered, ‘twas hardly surprising.

His courage now showed as he struck out for shore,

just ten more strokes, and then, maybe, ten more.

At last he felt pebbles beneath all his feet

and slowly he crawled, he just wouldn’t be beat!


Not too far away he could see a tall tree.

Wow that looks fantastic, he shouted with glee!

I think I may climb it, it isn’t too high,

and with no further thought he waved goodbye!