Rapid rhyme #16

Sometimes, just sometimes, I forget that I am a compassionate and caring gentleman. This afternoon was just such an occasion.

 

Would it be awful if I were to say

I cannot be bothered to see you today

I really don’t care that your leg has dropped off

And couldn’t care less you’ve developed a cough

You breed just like rabbits, producing more louts

Your lifestyle’s renowned by all hereabouts

You’re on your seventh partner in only four years

I can only surmise it’ll all end in tears

Please don’t come to me to try to explain

I really don’t wish to hear you complain

It’s hardly surprising the neighbours all glare

Please don’t come to me, I really don’t care!

 

Rapid rhyme #12

MOZZIES

These mozzies won’t listen to reason

when told that they’re not welcome here

With all of this new global warming

it’s tropical diseases I fear!

 

It used to be just the odd nibble

a swelling that itched or was sore

but with all of this new global warming

there’s hillocks and mountains and more

 

I’ve been eaten alive by the beasties

they sneak everywhere on my skin

They pause, then they bite, then they suckle

and I didn’t say they could come in

 

With all of this new global warming

I fear I’m condemned to succumb

Well, would you believe what just happened

I’ve been bitten all over my bum!

 

I may have to voluntarily admit myself to some sort of clinic!

On checking the number of the previous Rapid rhyme, in order to number this one, I find that #11 also featured the word “bum”. Not only that, but Lundi limerick #48, and #49 also had bums in them!

Do I need help, or is this just a feature of getting older?