There was a young lady from Ealing
who hung upside down from the ceiling
She dressed really random
whilst riding a tandem
singing opera with consummate feeling
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Category: Poetry
Rapid rhyme #16
Sometimes, just sometimes, I forget that I am a compassionate and caring gentleman. This afternoon was just such an occasion.
Would it be awful if I were to say
I cannot be bothered to see you today
I really don’t care that your leg has dropped off
And couldn’t care less you’ve developed a cough
You breed just like rabbits, producing more louts
Your lifestyle’s renowned by all hereabouts
You’re on your seventh partner in only four years
I can only surmise it’ll all end in tears
Please don’t come to me to try to explain
I really don’t wish to hear you complain
It’s hardly surprising the neighbours all glare
Please don’t come to me, I really don’t care!
Lundi limerick #56
The City of Derby, which is 10 miles from where I live, is pronounced DARBY.
There once was a man lived in Derby
who thought he was married to Barbie
He bought lots of things
including some rings
and wondered how much would a car be?
I shall be visiting Derby today to meet up with ex work colleagues for our regular get together where we commiserate with the only one who is still working. We will enjoy a quiet lunch together (well sometimes we are quiet!), try to put the world to rights, and discuss our various ailments and aches. It will also give me a chance to go to see The Knife Angel.
Lundi limerick #55
There was a young lady from Chester
who left all her acne to fester
Her face soon eroded
and then it exploded
she now works at Court as a Jester
Lundi limerick #54
There was a young lady from Brent
whose leg was incredibly bent
she walked with a crutch
but it didn’t do much
she invariably came as she went
Rapid rhyme #15 – The end?
Oh the smell, and the whiff, and the pong
as the world goes terribly wrong
it’s all just erupted
with earth much corrupted
hold your nose and join in with a song!
Lundi limerick #53
There was a young lady from Ayr
who wore brussels sprouts in her hair
Her hat was a cabbage
which made her look savage
and my how the townsfolk did stare!
From a huge poll of what to do next, after A to Z, and back, of animals and insects, I held a competition. The winner got to choose my subject matter for the next year.
Actually, that’s a bit of a lie! I just decided to use Village and Town names in the UK. X and Z may prove to be a problem, but what the hell!
Lundi limerick #52
Aardvarks have very poor sight
and eat many termites each night
50,000 they say
then they sleep through the day
after washing them down with a Sprite.
(they don’t really drink Sprite, but the 50,000 is accurate!)
Well, I’ve gone from A to Z and back again with animal, birds, and insect limericks. What to do next week? Answers please on the back of a £50 note!
Rapid rhyme #14
Faces and places and all sorts of things
Insects with feelers, and pincers, and wings
Birds in the sky and beasts in the fields
Each of them part of all that Earth yields.
Lundi limerick #51
A bat who was cute, small, and black
flew to London one night, then flew back
Halfway through the flight
she had such a fright
when encountering a flying Big Mac!
