Lundi limerick #1

An antelope climbed up a mast,

with care, and not very fast.

When nearing the top

he fell with a plop.

The antelope now sadly passed!

 

To start a series with a death seems counter intuitive. I may have to do a little raising from the dead later on!

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Twittering Tales #100 – 4 September 2018

Come one, come all.

Join in with the 100th Twittering Tale challenge!

Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creative souls is an extra special one this week.  We have to try to revert to the original 140 characters, instead of the now normal 280 characters, or fewer, to write a story based on the photo prompt. I wasn’t in at the very beginning. I think it was TT#14 before I discovered the joys of Twittering (you can see I don’t tweet in real life!) but it is now a must for me each week.

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Photo by Lauris at Pixabay.com

Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution which, instead of a tale, is a limerick to celebrate Kat’s birthday (at least I think that is what the picture is all about!). Check out all the fabulous entries here.

Kat is 100 it seems,
but younger by far in her dreams.
She’s really much brighter,
a hell of a writer,
and the smile on her face it just gleams!

(140 characters)

 

Sunday sayings #50

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and here is a valuable lesson – source unknown

I was out walking with my 4½ year-old son.

He picked something off the ground and started to put it in his mouth. I took the item away from him and I asked him not to do that.

“Why?” my son asked.

“Because it’s been on the ground; you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty and probably has germs”, I replied.

At this point my son looked at me with total admiration and asked,  “Mum, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.”

I was thinking quickly and replied,  “All mums know this stuff. It’s on the Mum Test. You have to know it or they don’t let you be a Mum.”

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes and he was evidently pondering this new information.

“Oh….I get it!” he beamed.  “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the Dad.”

“Exactly.” I replied with a big smile on my face!

 

Just because #5

images-33.jpegA frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.”

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what in the world is this?”

(You’re gonna love this.)

The bank manager looks back at her and says, “It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

(You sang it, didn’t you? Yeah, I know you did.)

Never take life too seriously.

★♫.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ♫★

Twittering Tale #98 – 21 August 2018

It’s time again for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creative souls.

Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 280 characters or fewer.

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Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution. Check out all the fabulous entries here.

The Rose grower’s curse.

I’ve got it again, I’m fed up!

What’s the matter now?

That horrible disease that spoiled all my roses last year is back again!

I thought you sprayed them, and cut back the worst affected.

I did, but just look. It’s on every rose and has even spread to the pavement.
Bloody black spot!

(279 characters)

The fly.

A fly came in and flew around, he buzzed this way and that.

It caused near apoplexy for my parrot and my cat.

My parrot said, “now bugger off”, my cat spoke not at all,

She was too busy flying round and bouncing off the wall.

 

My parrot said “I did not know that you could really fly.”

The fly, misunderstanding, said, “it’s just how I get by!”

The cat, meanwhile, was leaping up and down across the room.

The fly was sure to get caught soon and then would meet its doom.

 

I thought that I could help things out, and maybe swat the fly.

The parrot squawked, and grabbed the cat, and said “here let me try.”

The fur was flying all around, the cushions were all scattered;

The dogs walked in and chased  the bird, and fly, and cat, all tattered.

 

Now, dogs, and cat, and bird, and fly, were chasing round and round.

It made me oh so giddy that I fell down to the ground.

I tumbled round and round and round, and slowly I arose,

when very much, to my surprise, the fly flew up my nose!

 

Very soon the cat arrived, determined to give chase.

She tried her best to catch the fly but merely scratched my face.

The cat was closely followed by the dogs, and then the bird;

The situation really was becoming most absurd!

 

The outcome of this saga was determined by my wife.

She smacked me on the nose, and thus she ended all the strife.

The fly was done, it was no more, all thanks to our dear mummy;

I sniffed, and swallowed; down it went, it ended in my tummy!

Twittering Tale #94 – 24 July 2018

It’s time again for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creative souls. Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 280 characters or fewer.

statue-3520416_1280.jpgPhoto by Couleur at Pixabay.com

Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution. Check out all the fabulous entries here.

Great do last night!

Was it?

Yea, I got completely legless. Had to crash out on Ben’s sofa.

Did you see me at all?

Yea. We had a chat early on and then you went off with that weirdo.

Weirdo? What weirdo?

That guy with a huge chopper!

I can’t remember a thing. Think I lost my head a bit!

(280 characters)

Twittering Tales #87 – 5 June 2018

It’s time again for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creative souls. Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 280 characters or fewer.

img_2011Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution. Check out all the fabulous entries here.

The Winner – with apologies to those of a nervous disposition

I warned him, I really did!

He should have foreseen the consequences.

He insisted it was all just innocent fun, and the competition was the talk of the town. He was sure to win.

I thought so too, because he sure passed a lot of gas.

He really shouldn’t have tried to light it though!

(279 characters)