Saturday Smiles

A political lesson from Raili Tanska. I don’t know the lady, but she seems to have a great pedigree, and she certainly brings a smile to my weekend!

soulgifts - Telling Tales

I don’t often venture into politics on my blog,

but this one is a must share.

Thanks Pam  😀

The New Political Symbol:

THE NEW POLITICAL SYMBOL IS THAT OF A CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the Politicians stance…. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed! Damn, it just doesn’t get more accurate than that!

 Given I’ve started I may as well continue on with the politics 

A Larry Hardiman definition

 “Politics” is derived from the words “poly” meaning “many”, and “tics” meaning “blood-sucking parasites.”

A few words of wisdom from George W Bush

• I think war is a dangerous place.
• Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?
• They misunderestimated me.
• Information is moving. You know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it’s also moving through…

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Golden Age Truths

How many of these apply to you? I guarantee that there are more than a few!

A Simple, Village Undertaker

1. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on #5.  I’m  pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren’t going to do…

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Twittering Tale #43 – 1 August 2017

It’s time again for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creative souls. Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 140 characters or fewer.

Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution. Check out all the fabulous entries here.

A dotted line with a message, “Follow the dots”. Starting at the neck, they now snaked down his stomach to his groin. Almost finished. OOPS!

(140 characters)

 

Twittering Tale #40 – 11 July 2017

It’s time again for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creative souls. Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 140 characters or fewer.

Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution. Check out all the fabulous entries here.

He was just going round in circles, not getting anywhere. Just as he thought of a brilliant plan, a huge black disc fell and squashed him.

(138 characters)

Dead or Alive?

I always thought, when I was young, I wouldn’t live to forty.

My Mother said I wouldn’t do if I was always naughty!

Yet here I am, a pensioner, exceeding expectation

and, now that I’ve passed 69, I look back with elation. 

 

I never thought that I would be a great success in life.

I only wished to have a job, and, maybe, take a wife.

Well, some successes came along, as husband, and as Dad

and very nicely my whole life has left me rather glad.

 

My Mum, of course, was always right; she often told me so!

Her all surrounding love was great , it gave a warming glow.

She’s now long gone, and so has Dad, and even my big sister.

But memories they linger on, and my, how we have missed her.

 

So, when I wake up each new day I thank my lucky stars.

I’m happy with my wrinkles, and with my many scars.

My Mum was right. She always was, as I’ve already said,

but wait a bit! I just woke up. Well, bugger me – I’m dead!

A child of the Army of the Rhine

Read all about this young man pointing in the right direction. You will laugh. Money back guarantee!

Broadsides

Viersen. It must have been a small agricultural village at one time. Set in vast acres of open fields of sugar beet and potatoes which ran all the way to the Dutch boarder. It became a satellite village, or a town, to Monchen Gladbach but I suspect it retained its primary agricultural nature until the coming of the railways. A major permanent way was built across the fields to the south east of the village, with sidings and sheds and workshops and a very handsome bahnhof. The rail line ran all the way into Belgium and Holland and North to the industrial Rhur. It was undoubtedly this that attracted the attention of the occupying British forces at the end of the second world war. It became, with its easy rail access to the ports at Antwerp and Ostend, the perfect place to locate a forward supply depot for the Army…

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A Lost Opportunity — A Simple, Village Undertaker

For many years I thought about responding to his request, but resisted the temptation to help him be a good Samaritan. If only his grammar was better. Now it it too late. I’m sure however, that the Nigerian authorities will put the money to good use.

via A Lost Opportunity — A Simple, Village Undertaker

Many a true word spoken in jest!

Twittering Tale #37 – 27 June 2017

It’s time again for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creative souls. Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 140 characters or fewer.

Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution. Check out all the fabulous entries here.

He’d checked 3 times now and he was certain. There were 3 nuts, 5 bolts, and 17 washers missing.

No other option, he’d have to take it back!

(140 characters)

 

Just one of those days!

This Morning’s Message:

via Out Of Order — A Simple, Village Undertaker