A to Z of Nonsense

Arbitrary avenues, bellicose bends

Cantilevered caverns, dangerous dens

Every single episode could easily expose

Fancy if you will and gather all the goes

Hurry to the harbour, investigate the Ids

Jump every jerrycan kissing all the kids

Leap over lanterns, many then some more

Nicking all the neaps and offering an oar

Picking up some peppers, quacking in a queue

Running rings around us stirring up the stew

Taking turns to tamper, urging we undock

Voting for the vampires and cooking with a wok

Exiting excitingly yawning yet again

Zeds and zoos and zany clues adds zest we can’t explain

Rapid Rhyme #36

Woe is me

My tummy’s hurting quite a lot

I may not last the night

My forehead’s getting very hot

My chest is feeling tight

I think my arm is dropping off

It really feels quite weird

And now I have a tickly cough

And spittle in my beard

I’ll p’raps survive till Monday morn

But maybe I will not

I’ll just sit here, alone, forlorn

And very slowly rot!

*I don’t really have a beard!*

Thin Skin – A linked limerick

Such a marvellous thing is my skin

It helps keep my blood and guts in

It keeps the rain out

But now there’s no doubt

It is getting increasingly thin

---

Maybe I’ve just turned a page

It’s a battle my body must wage

I develop strange hues

And so easily bruise

It’s something to do with my age

Now I’ve started you may not be able to stop me!

Rapid rhyme #35

Colleen’s post today, on The Chatter Blog, entitled Until You Can’t prompted me to write a Rapid Rhyme which I have decided to call (surprise, surprise)……….

Until You Can’t

The will to do

won’t make it so

our own free choice

to come and go

to safely rise

from kneeling down

to smile, to groan,

to grin, to frown

our bodies shrink

our bones will creak

our voices waver

sometimes squeak

determination 

helps a lot

we lost our way

and names forgot

we often snooze

whilst others work

then snap awake

when muscles jerk

some were perfect

others sinned

well, damn me

just stood up….

…………………..

broke wind!

Flease flay your fart

Seen on my morning walk #1

Walking through long grass this morning when I disturbed a young pleasant couple canoodling.

I don’t know who was the most shocked, me, or them!

They disappeared very quickly into nearby woodland, he swearing at the top of his voice, and she screaming loudly.

Another beautiful walk.

 

Damn autocorrect  –  “pheasant”

Rapid rhyme #32

leaves are flying

I am trying

every day to rake them up

heap gets bigger

need a digger

make some tea and drink a cup

now I’m grinning

think I’m winning

bloomin’ heck there’s millions more

leaves decaying

I start praying

leaves will blow into next door!

Rapid rhyme #31

Owen, Beleaguered Servant, with No Talent For Certainty is a poet whose prodigious output simply amazes me.    His post, yesterday,  I’m Really Glad You’re Happy inspired me to write the following Rapid rhyme.  Do check out his poetry.  I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

A Rapid rhyme is one that comes to mind straight away and is not edited or amended. By their very nature they can be rough at the edges, a little unfinished, but I like them!

Incidentally, trE, of A Cornered Gurl, has taken a liking to my idea and has started to produce her own Rapid rhymes, going one better by adding an audio file to them (I’m not ready to share my squeaky voice yet!). They are great, and an example can be found here.

Here is mine, inspired by Owen.

I’m really glad you’re really glad that I am glad you’re happy

I’ll help you now in helping me to help you change your nappy*

I think you think I think you’re cute but I think you are cuter

Especially now that you have let me see your great big hooter**

I like the fact you like the fact that I like facts of fiction

I say that you will say I do and I will say good diction

I’ll state the state that you are in is really rather snappy

I’m really glad you’re really glad that I am glad you’re happy

*Nappy = Diaper

**hooter = Nose

Rapid rhyme #30

None of us are poets, it’s very plain to see

we write some words and if they rhyme then it was meant to be

but there again if words don’t rhyme it doesn’t mean it’s prose

It may be verse, or something worse, a finger up your nose

 

None of us are poets, it’s why I wrote these words

to prove to you it’s very true that cows are seen in herds

A bull will come along to serve, that is his given task

He’s making love to cows all day and doesn’t have to ask

 

None of us are poets, I think I’ve proved that fact

but have a go, it’s fun to do, just sign the poet’s pact

Stand on your head, write with your toes, and sing a happy ditty

For those of you who think they know the rhyming word is kitty

Lundi limerick #102

A young man who lives in Devizes

has ears of varying sizes

They grow and they shrink

and you really would think

that he’d easily win many prizes

Devizes is a market town and civil parish in the centre of Wiltshire, England.  It has nearly five hundred listed buildings, some notable churches, a town hall and a green in the centre of the town.  The town developed around Devizes Castle, built by Osmund, Bishop of Salisbury in 1080, but it is not mentioned in the Domesday Book. Because the castle was on the boundaries of the manors of Rowde, Bishops Cannings, and Potterne it became known as the castrum ad divisas (“the castle at the boundaries”), hence the name Devizes.