Lundi limerick #9

A horny iguana once said,

“It is awkward when going to bed.

With spikes down my back,

when I get in the sack

I often make holes in my head!”

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Twittering Tales #107 – 23 October 2018

I’ve never tweeted in my life, but Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creativity is definitely worth trying it out. Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 280 characters or fewer.

This week we have 3 prompts and I’m choosing to write a story for each one. Check out the rules, and all the fabulous entries here.  If you’ve never had a go, why not try a story of your own? You may surprise yourself!

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Photo by Capri23auto at Pixabay.com

Let’s face it!

Peter, the pumpkin, was feeling really glum. You could see by the look on his face.

He’d been in this pile of pumpkins for 2 weeks now and, despite having worked his way up to the top and front of the pile, no-one had chosen him to be their Jack-o’-lantern for Halloween. Sad face!

(280 characters)

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Photo by dlife88 at Pixabay.com

An educated palate

The crows all knew that it was only a matter of time!

The boarding school was absolutely chock-a-block with small, tasty, children.

The birds were salivating with the sweet smell of young flesh, rising up on the thermals.

They had to come out soon.

It was only a matter of time!

(275 characters)

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Photo by simonwijers at Pixabay.com

Retired hurt!

The naturist tree huggers club had chosen their site really badly for this year’s convention.

The forest was mostly made up of young oak trees and the bark was really rough.

The opening “get to know your tree” dance resulted in multiple injuries and most members had to retire hurt!

(280 characters)

Twittering Tales #106 – 16 October 2018

I’ve never tweeted in my life, but Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge, to tax our creativity, is definitely worth trying it out. Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 280 characters or fewer.

img_3147Photo by Buzz Anderson at Unsplash.com

Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution. Check out all the fabulous entries here.

If you’ve never had a go, why not try a story of your own? You may surprise yourself!

The party

She hated the Christmas party.

They said it was good for staff morale and all that crap!

She hated it!

All that posing. The bling. Yuk!

Then the boss started to come on to her. She lost it.

Smack!!! Right on the nose. It looked broken.

He was a bully, and pretty ‘armless.

What a dummy!

(280 characters)

Twittering Tales #104 – 2 October 2018

It’s time again for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creative souls. Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 280 characters or fewer.

antiquity-2558276_1280.jpgPhoto by fotoerich at Pixabay.com

Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution. Check out all the fabulous entries here.

Those new contraceptive tablets were great.
The instructions were really clear.
I just had to make a sheath out of the intestine of a goat and stretch it over my organ, before ravishing all the handmaidens I desired.
I didn’t have an organ, or a piano, so I stretched it over my lyre!

(280 characters)

 

Four days in North Yorkshire

If you want to learn a little Yorkshire dialect, here’s your chance! You never know when it may come in handy. Apart from that there is a very interesting bit of history too.

Broadsides - A collection of bits and pieces

boars head Entrance to the Boar’s Head public house and country hotel, Ripley, North Yorkshire

You can catch a bus to Ripley, from Leeds Bus station. Number 36.  It takes you all across the dales to North Yorkshire and drops you off right outside the Boars Head in Ripley, which was where I was staying for a four-day Yorkshire Break.  Ripley is one of those handsome stone built Yorkshire villages set in rolling dales, which round there are steeped in the blood and the history of religious and civil wars.   Not too far away was Marston Moor where Oliver Cromwell destroyed the Northern army of Charles the 1st.    And at Ripley castle, on the edge of the village, lived the Ingleby’s, heavily related to and implicated with those involved in the 1605 Guy Fawkes gunpowder conspiracy to blow up the Houses of Parliament.  There’s some good people round here!

The…

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Twittering Tales #103 – 25 September 2018

It’s time again for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge to tax our creative souls. Just take her photo prompt and write a story, inspired by it, in 280 characters or fewer.

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Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution. Check out all the fabulous entries here.

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Branching out into horrible humour

The tree had become quite a tourist attraction.
57 pairs of shoes in the branches.
114 uppers, 114 laces, 114 throats, 114 tongues, and 114 heels.
Beneath the tree there were only half that number of tongues, all belonging to the 57 bodies buried there!

Please pray for their souls!

(279 characters)