A viper, my friend, name of Fred
took to sleeping with me in my bed
He was really adoring
apart from his snoring
which made me move out to my shed
Advertisements
Category: humour
Lundi limerick #30
A walrus of gigantic size
was also incredibly wise
It hardly surprises
she won lots of prizes
but worried about her large thighs
Wednesday weirdness — National Library Week edition — bluebird of bitterness
Something no serious reader should be without.
via Wednesday weirdness — National Library Week edition — bluebird of bitterness
Lundi limerick #29
An X ray of Susan the spider
showed hundreds of apples inside her
Her doctor said hey
we can cure you today
As a bonus we’ll make lots of cider
(Susan is a VERY big spider, and features today because X is rather difficult when it comes to animals, insects, and arachnids.)
Twittering Tales #129 – 26 March 2019
It’s time again, for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge, to write a story, inspired by her picture prompt, in 280 characters or fewer.
Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution.
Check out all the fabulously creative entries here and, if you’ve never had a go, why not try a story of your own? You may surprise yourself!
Photo by Tony Dinh at Unsplash.com
It was a huge turnout for the inaugural “Invisible Hot Air Balloon Convention.”
The baskets had to be in the form of bird cages, but otherwise there were no restrictions. Balloons could be any shape and size, and colour.
Everyone was ecstatic.
Me, I just couldn’t see the attraction!
(279 characters)
A bit of a boob
My long-term neighbours (LTN) decided, some time ago, to pack whatever they needed and go travelling in their caravan. They are currently somewhere in Scotland.
They were good neighbours and the sort of folk who like gadgets, like to make things, build things, improve things, maintain things. Always busy, on the go. Whatever they do, they do to their utmost, they do it effectively and, with planning, and the right tools, which they have in abundance, they always end up with a very professional job.
A couple of years ago they put up a quadruple nest box on the back of their house, designed for sparrows. No-one took up residence!
Meanwhile, they let out their house to a young couple who had decided to try out living together to see how it worked out. Apparently, it’s a thing! Who knew?
They seem very pleasant, both are musical types, she a teacher of wind instruments, he, I have no idea, but he is away a lot, putting on shows of some sort.
They are both 20 something but seem childlike in their behaviour. Perhaps I’m just an old fuddy duddy.
He is very slim, quite small, and wears the normal uniform of jeans, tee shirts , and trainers. She is small and a little dumpy, and tends to wear low cut neck lines that could raise my blood pressure were I to dwell on them, especially as she has very well developed muscles.
Last Spring we were having a bumper time for birds. I have feeders all around the back garden and we cater for everyone who wants to visit. We were particularly blessed with many pairs of Goldfinches. They like Niger seed!
Next door erupted out of their patio doors, playing some sort of “chase me” game, giggling. They greeted me over the fence and we exchanged a few pleasantries. I offered to fill up their empty Niger seed feeder (all the feeders left by LTN were long since emptied) and guaranteed that within an hour their garden would have several Goldfinches visiting. The birds did not let me down.
This Spring I noticed a pair of birds very busily building in one of the apartments in the aforementioned nest boxes. If you watch too closely, and too often, they would abandon this site and move elsewhere, so I had not drawn anyone’s attention to their building.
A couple of days ago I met young lady neighbour and mentioned that they had a nesting pair in their box.
“Sparrows?” She asked.
“Great tits” I replied, my gaze sinking Southwards!
Is it true? See below.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It is true apart from the last 3 sentences, and it is actually a pair of Great Tits that have taken up residence!
Twittering Tale #128 – 19 March 2019
It’s time again, for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge, to write a story, inspired by her picture prompt, in 280 characters or fewer.
Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution.
Check out all the fabulously creative entries here and, if you’ve never had a go, why not try a story of your own? You may surprise yourself!
Photo by Matthew Henry at Unsplash.com
You think this is funny?
Cute?
Sweet?
Ah, I want one just like that?
Well, let me tell you matey, this ain’t any of the above.
It is agony!
I have an itch on my nose that I cannot scratch, AND I’m bursting for a pee.
The minute I get out of here I’m going to pee in every shoe I can find!
(280 characters)
Lundi limerick #25
A yodeling yak name of Fred
got a sore throat and took to his bed
We have to rejoice
that he soon found his voice
but an octave higher instead
Twittering Tales #126 – 5 March 2019
It’s time again, for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge, to write a story, inspired by her picture prompt, in 280 characters or fewer.
Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution.
Check out all the fabulously creative entries here and, if you’ve never had a go, why not try a story of your own? You may surprise yourself!
Photo by Johnathan Basquez at Unsplash.com
Detective Mike (Dense) Pence, received the tip from Donald, his C.I.
It’s going to be big, really big, Donald said! A whole lot of bad people will be there, and you’ll catch the lot. They are meeting at the corner of 5th and Main. You can’t miss it!
Mike couldn’t find the place!
(280 characters)
Rapid rhyme #11
May I touch your ample bum?
‘t’would pleasure me to do so
and then perhaps you’d marry me
and I’d provide the trousseau
