Lundi limerick #92

Knickers in Norwich are said

to be orange, or yellow, or red

No wives ever roam

when the soldiers come home

you will find they are waiting in bed

 

Over recent weeks I have given a brief description of where the town is, what it’s famous for, and other trivia associated with the place. This week you’re not getting that. Tough! You’ll have to look up wikipedia on this link! 

Instead, a brief explanation of the verse above:

During the Second World War servicemen were allowed to send Forces Mail home free of charge but they were restricted in what they could write. They could not say where they were (most did not know anyway!), what they were doing, and they were mostly only allowed to send a pre formatted and part pre printed military postal form. This meant they had to be brief in what they wrote.

This led to a much used shorthand to impart what they wanted to say.  Many will know of the acronym SWALK which meant “sealed with a loving kiss”. Other acronyms can be found here. 

NORWICH was (K)nickers off ready when I come home!

 

 

 

Lundi limerick #89

A lady called Betty from Quorn

whose hips were incredibly worn

laid blame on her dancing

and all of the prancing

encountered whilst working in porn

 

I have shamelessly copied the following from the wikipedia entry for  Quorn:

The first known evidence of the village is in the Lincoln Episcopal Registers for 1209–1235, as Quernendon. Other variations of the village name over the centuries include Querne, Quendon, Querendon, Quarendon, Qaryndon, Querinden, Querondon, and Quernedon.

The quarrying of stone in Quorn began at a very early age at Buddon Wood, on the edge of the parish. Granite millstones were quarried in the early Iron Age, and under the Romans stone was quarried for building in Leicester. Some of the larger millstones can still be seen in the area, however these days they are either used as garden ornaments, or worked into seats or slabs.

Quorn Hall, off Meynell Road on the eastern edge of the village, was built for the Farnham family in about 1680. It became the home of renowned fox hunter Hugo Meynell in 1753. He established his pack of hounds there, where it continued under later masters until 1905, thus giving a name to the famous Quorn Hunt. Three Royal Navy ships have been named HMS Quorn after the hunt.

The meat substitute Quorn derives its name from this village, and began production in 1985.

 

 

Lundi limerick #87

Rita from Richmond in Surrey

ate nothing but cabbage and curry

her stomach was loaded

it sadly exploded

she’s now just a bucket of slurry

 

The borough of Richmond was abolished in 1965 when it was replaced by the larger London Borough of Richmond upon Thames, and Surrey County Council was replaced here by Greater London local government institutions, at which time the ceremonial county also changed.

Richmond is definitely a place I could never afford to live and, in  any case, I much prefer Richmond in Yorkshire!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lundi limerick #86

A lady from Stoke-upon-Trent

was never quite sure where she went

She often got lost

at great personal cost

but said it was worth every cent

 

Stoke-upon-Trent, commonly called Stoke, is a component town of the city of Stoke-on-Trent, in Staffordshire, England.

The town was incorporated as a municipal borough in 1874.  In 1888, the six towns (Hanley, Burslem, Fenton, Longton, Stoke-upon-Trent, and Tunstall.) lobbied the government to become recognised as a county of “Staffordshire Potteries” but the bid failed.

In 1910 it became one of the six towns that federated to become the County Borough of Stoke-on-Trent and later the City of Stoke-on-Trent. Since federation in 1910 it has the seat of the city’s council, though Stoke-on-Trent’s city centre is usually regarded as being the nearby town of Hanley which, since federation, has been the most commercially important of the six towns.

Owing to the confusion between the town of Stoke and the larger city, there have been various calls, mainly amongst business leaders and academics, to rename either the town or the larger city. Proposals for the renamed town include Old Stoke, Stoke Minster and Stoke Town.

 

 

 

Lundi limerick #83

She loved in Virginia Water

an awful lot more than she oughta

She wore pink lace frills

and lived for the thrills

Some say ‘twas her mother who taught her!

 

I wonder how many misread the second word?

Virginia Water is a town I could not afford to live in. A report from October 2015 listed Virginia Water as the most expensive town (excepting individual London boroughs) for property in the UK, having an average house price exceeding £1m. The 2011 Census showed the population of Virginia Water to be 5,940. Many of the homes are situated on the Wentworth Estate, the home of the Wentworth Club which has four golf courses. The Ryder Cup was first played there. It is also home to the headquarters of the PGA European Tour, the professional golf tour. The estate reached the headlines in 1998 when General Augusto Pinochet was kept under house arrest in one of its houses prior to his extradition.

 

Rapid rhyme #22

Easter Sunday, boiler’s broke

phone the gas, they send a bloke

social distance makes it hard

shout to him across the yard

 

Cat goes crazy, races round

scratches bloke then goes to ground

launches right across his head

goodness me I think he’s dead

 

Thank the Lord he’s coming round

the cat once more has gone to ground

the boiler well and truly broken

the bloke at least has now awoken!

 

No cats, or blokes, were hurt in the writing of this poem! The boiler, however, is crying – all over the once dry bedding and towels. Happy Easter everyone.

Start and Finish! No Merci! — The happy Quitter!

Bridget had a few things to finish in order to find her inner peace.

She found it!

I heard a Doctor on TV saying at this time, when we all are forced to stay at home, we should focus on inner peace. To achieve this we should always finish things we start. Now or never! Time to finish old projects and calm down by doing so.

via Start and Finish! No Merci! — The happy Quitter!

Lundi limerick #80

Wonky Wendy resided in Yatton

and had one skinny leg and a fat’n

With seventeen toes

and more than one nose

she went naked with only a hat on

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yatton

If you expand the panoramic view you may just be able to see Wendy’s fat leg sticking out from behind the church!

 

Covid-19

It’s serious, there’s no denying, but humour will help us all get through it.

Thanks to Blogswallop

Lundi limerick #73

A lady from Uxbridge once said

‘I’ve a terrible pain in my head’

Her husband just laughed

and said ‘Don’t be daft’

but by teatime his wife was quite dead

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uxbridge