Rapid rhyme #32

leaves are flying

I am trying

every day to rake them up

heap gets bigger

need a digger

make some tea and drink a cup

now I’m grinning

think I’m winning

bloomin’ heck there’s millions more

leaves decaying

I start praying

leaves will blow into next door!

Rapid rhyme #31

Owen, Beleaguered Servant, with No Talent For Certainty is a poet whose prodigious output simply amazes me.    His post, yesterday,  I’m Really Glad You’re Happy inspired me to write the following Rapid rhyme.  Do check out his poetry.  I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

A Rapid rhyme is one that comes to mind straight away and is not edited or amended. By their very nature they can be rough at the edges, a little unfinished, but I like them!

Incidentally, trE, of A Cornered Gurl, has taken a liking to my idea and has started to produce her own Rapid rhymes, going one better by adding an audio file to them (I’m not ready to share my squeaky voice yet!). They are great, and an example can be found here.

Here is mine, inspired by Owen.

I’m really glad you’re really glad that I am glad you’re happy

I’ll help you now in helping me to help you change your nappy*

I think you think I think you’re cute but I think you are cuter

Especially now that you have let me see your great big hooter**

I like the fact you like the fact that I like facts of fiction

I say that you will say I do and I will say good diction

I’ll state the state that you are in is really rather snappy

I’m really glad you’re really glad that I am glad you’re happy

*Nappy = Diaper

**hooter = Nose

Rapid rhyme #30

None of us are poets, it’s very plain to see

we write some words and if they rhyme then it was meant to be

but there again if words don’t rhyme it doesn’t mean it’s prose

It may be verse, or something worse, a finger up your nose

 

None of us are poets, it’s why I wrote these words

to prove to you it’s very true that cows are seen in herds

A bull will come along to serve, that is his given task

He’s making love to cows all day and doesn’t have to ask

 

None of us are poets, I think I’ve proved that fact

but have a go, it’s fun to do, just sign the poet’s pact

Stand on your head, write with your toes, and sing a happy ditty

For those of you who think they know the rhyming word is kitty

Lundi limerick #102

A young man who lives in Devizes

has ears of varying sizes

They grow and they shrink

and you really would think

that he’d easily win many prizes

Devizes is a market town and civil parish in the centre of Wiltshire, England.  It has nearly five hundred listed buildings, some notable churches, a town hall and a green in the centre of the town.  The town developed around Devizes Castle, built by Osmund, Bishop of Salisbury in 1080, but it is not mentioned in the Domesday Book. Because the castle was on the boundaries of the manors of Rowde, Bishops Cannings, and Potterne it became known as the castrum ad divisas (“the castle at the boundaries”), hence the name Devizes.  

A little Alliteration #2

A kind of clown who clearly came

from Canterbury, Kent

A clever kind of kid he was

who when he’d come soon went

He came again, this canny kid

all clothed in khaki keks

with nice clean clogs and cotton cap

The closing rhyme is sex!

A little Alliteration #1

Play with a pelican

snog with a snake

cuddle a chameleon

swim with a hake

fly with flamingos

and dance with a duck

people think I’m crazy

but I don’t give a ……….

second thought to that!

Rapid rhyme #27

I’m pretty sure I do not know

where I came from or where to go

I’m of two minds it’s very clear

Should I go or p’raps stay here?

Lundi limerick #97

A lassie from Ilkley who swore

that she lived with a wolf on the moor

said there’s nowt wrong with that

or not wearing a hat

a traditional life’s such a bore

 

Habitation in Ilkley dates from the Mesolithic period, from about 11,000 BC onwards. It is in one of the most beautiful areas of the United Kingdom, The Yorkshire Dales, alongside the River Wharfe. You can read more about the town here.

lkley Moor is part of Rombalds Moor, the moorland between Ilkley and Keighley (pronounced Keethly) in West Yorkshire, England. The moor, which rises to 402 m (1,319 ft) above sea level, is well known as the inspiration for the Yorkshire “county anthem” On Ilkla Moor Baht ‘at (dialect for ‘on Ilkley Moor without a hat’).

 

 

 

 

Lundi limerick #92

Knickers in Norwich are said

to be orange, or yellow, or red

No wives ever roam

when the soldiers come home

you will find they are waiting in bed

 

Over recent weeks I have given a brief description of where the town is, what it’s famous for, and other trivia associated with the place. This week you’re not getting that. Tough! You’ll have to look up wikipedia on this link! 

Instead, a brief explanation of the verse above:

During the Second World War servicemen were allowed to send Forces Mail home free of charge but they were restricted in what they could write. They could not say where they were (most did not know anyway!), what they were doing, and they were mostly only allowed to send a pre formatted and part pre printed military postal form. This meant they had to be brief in what they wrote.

This led to a much used shorthand to impart what they wanted to say.  Many will know of the acronym SWALK which meant “sealed with a loving kiss”. Other acronyms can be found here. 

NORWICH was (K)nickers off ready when I come home!

 

 

 

Lundi limerick #89

A lady called Betty from Quorn

whose hips were incredibly worn

laid blame on her dancing

and all of the prancing

encountered whilst working in porn

 

I have shamelessly copied the following from the wikipedia entry for  Quorn:

The first known evidence of the village is in the Lincoln Episcopal Registers for 1209–1235, as Quernendon. Other variations of the village name over the centuries include Querne, Quendon, Querendon, Quarendon, Qaryndon, Querinden, Querondon, and Quernedon.

The quarrying of stone in Quorn began at a very early age at Buddon Wood, on the edge of the parish. Granite millstones were quarried in the early Iron Age, and under the Romans stone was quarried for building in Leicester. Some of the larger millstones can still be seen in the area, however these days they are either used as garden ornaments, or worked into seats or slabs.

Quorn Hall, off Meynell Road on the eastern edge of the village, was built for the Farnham family in about 1680. It became the home of renowned fox hunter Hugo Meynell in 1753. He established his pack of hounds there, where it continued under later masters until 1905, thus giving a name to the famous Quorn Hunt. Three Royal Navy ships have been named HMS Quorn after the hunt.

The meat substitute Quorn derives its name from this village, and began production in 1985.