Advice for married men — bluebird of bitterness

How to help your wife when you retire!

by guest columnist Hal Hickenlooper It’s important for men to remember that as women age, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same standards of housekeeping as when they were younger. But when you notice this happening with your wife, try not to yell at her. Some women are oversensitive, and God knows there’s nothing worse than […]

Advice for married men — bluebird of bitterness

#Writephoto – Dinosaur

Writephoto is a weekly challenge, hosted by KL, where a picture prompt is provided every Thursday and we are invited to create a post… poetry, prose, humour… light or dark, whatever we choose, as long as it is fairly family-friendly.

This week’s prompt post can be found here –

Wally Mammoth

Standing by the pathway right beside the trees

I espy a mammoth who hasn’t any knees

He doesn’t want to talk at all, perhaps he’s been struck dumb

or maybe he’s just hanging round waiting for his Mum


His colour’s sort of rusty red, his tusks are large and round

His floppy ears can hear it all, every little sound

He’s smiling right across his face, it goes from ear to ear

as if to say to everyone there is no need for fear


He seems to breathe with little grunts, I thought there’d be more noise

Despite his size, and little eyes, he shows tremendous poise

As I approach much nearer he whispers with a hiss

Hello my lovely, come up close, and let me have a kiss!

Lundi limerick #83

She loved in Virginia Water

an awful lot more than she oughta

She wore pink lace frills

and lived for the thrills

Some say ‘twas her mother who taught her!


I wonder how many misread the second word?

Virginia Water is a town I could not afford to live in. A report from October 2015 listed Virginia Water as the most expensive town (excepting individual London boroughs) for property in the UK, having an average house price exceeding £1m. The 2011 Census showed the population of Virginia Water to be 5,940. Many of the homes are situated on the Wentworth Estate, the home of the Wentworth Club which has four golf courses. The Ryder Cup was first played there. It is also home to the headquarters of the PGA European Tour, the professional golf tour. The estate reached the headlines in 1998 when General Augusto Pinochet was kept under house arrest in one of its houses prior to his extradition.


Rapid rhyme #22

Easter Sunday, boiler’s broke

phone the gas, they send a bloke

social distance makes it hard

shout to him across the yard


Cat goes crazy, races round

scratches bloke then goes to ground

launches right across his head

goodness me I think he’s dead


Thank the Lord he’s coming round

the cat once more has gone to ground

the boiler well and truly broken

the bloke at least has now awoken!


No cats, or blokes, were hurt in the writing of this poem! The boiler, however, is crying – all over the once dry bedding and towels. Happy Easter everyone.

Start and Finish! No Merci! — The happy Quitter!

Bridget had a few things to finish in order to find her inner peace.

She found it!

I heard a Doctor on TV saying at this time, when we all are forced to stay at home, we should focus on inner peace. To achieve this we should always finish things we start. Now or never! Time to finish old projects and calm down by doing so.

via Start and Finish! No Merci! — The happy Quitter!

Song Lyric Sunday 05/01/2020 – La

song-lyric-sundayThank you to Jim Adams, who hosts Song Lyric Sunday and gives us the chance to share lots of familiar, and some not so familiar, songs.

If you fancy sharing one of your favourite songs you can find out how to participate, and also listen to all the great entries, here.

This week Jim has given us the task of finding a song with La in the title, or lyrics. Now, surely, that is every single song ever written! If we don’t know the words what do we all do? We sing along with La, la, la, and it is international as shown in these German lyrics to the, now what’s it called? The La la la song!

Es gab so viele Lieder, die meine Mutter sang
Ich werde nie vergessen wie eines damals klang
Ein Lied von Einsamkeit, von Liebe und Glück
Die Träume meiner Kindheit bringt mir dieses Lied zurück
La lalala lalala lalala…
La lalala lalala la…
La lalala lalala lalala…
La lalala lalala la…

My first La song of pop memories just has to be Pat Boone’s 1962 hit “Speedy Gonzales”. You could sing along to it, dance to it, it was funny, and it introduced the UK audience to new food and drink. What more could we ask for?

Pat Boone (his really name) is still active at the age of 85 and was married, at age 19, to Shirley, who was also a recording artist and television personality. She died in January 2019.

I hope you enjoy this fun memory of mine!


Speedy Gonzales

Pat Boone

It was a moonlit night in Old Mexico.
I walked alone between some old adobe haciendas.
Suddenly, I heard the plaintive cry of a young Mexican girl:

La la la, la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la, la la la la
la la la la.

You better come home Speedy Gonzales, away from tannery row.
Stop all of your drinking with that floosie named Flo!
Come on home to your adobe and slap some mud on the wall!
The roof is leaking like a strainer. There’s loads of roaches in the
(La la la la)

Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales),
why don’t you come home?
Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales),
how come you leave me all alone?

“He, Rosita, I have to go shopping downtown for my mother,
she needs some Tortillias and Chilli Pepper!”

La, la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la
la la.

Your doggie’s gonna have a puppy, and we’re running out of Coke.
no enchiladas in the icebox, and the television’s broke.
I saw some lipstick on your sweatshirt, I smell some perfume in your
Well, if you’re gonna keep on messin’, don’t bring your business back
(La la la la)

Mmm, Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales),
why don’t you come home?
Speedy Gonzales (Speedy Gonzales),
how come you leave me all alone?

“He, Rosita, come quick!
Down at the cantina, they’re giving green stamps with Tequila!”

La, la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la
la la
La la la la, la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la, la la la
la la la la la.

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Buddy Kaye / Ethel Lee / David Hess

Speedy Gonzales lyrics © Bienstock Publishing Company

Rapid rhyme #18

My cousin Kevin worked at Kew

he kept the kale well clipped

He couldn’t cut too closely though

in case his clippers slipped

He used a cutlass on the grass

as sharp as sharp could be

A fact that he regretted much

as he sliced through his knee

Regardless, Kevin hopped around

but fell and banged his head

He rolled across the grass and then

he rolled into the bed

Alas poor Kevin is no more

succumbed to cuts too many

And if you want another verse

Well tough, there are not any!

Twittering Tales #156 – 1 October 2019

It’s time again, for Kat Myrman’s wonderful challenge, to write a story, inspired by her picture prompt, in 280 characters or fewer.

Here is this week’s prompt and my contribution.

Check out all the fabulously creative entries here and, if you’ve never had a go, why not try a story of your own? You may surprise yourself!

bear-3801041_1280Photo by David


Bruno was really very pleased with his new SUV.

It wasn’t the precise colour he’d wanted, but the layout was superb, and the extras far surpassed any other make.

It was the first car to be fitted with a bathroom.

Bruno could now answer the age old question with “No, in the car!”


(276 characters)